Why do we fall?

Heartbreak. The feeling that comes from an unexpected course change in life. The realization that your script is about to be rewritten without notice.

Marcus Lattimore experienced one such course change today during a football game against the Tennessee Volunteers. With five minutes left in the second quarter, the hand off went to Lattimore on second and ten. He rushed to the left side only to be caught up around the knees by a defensive back. Tripping over another player, Lattimore's right leg twisted around as he was slammed to the ground, his knee bending in ways that a knee is not meant to bend.

If that were me, I likely would have blacked out on the spot. Marcus Lattimore immediately went to his back, knowing exactly what had just happened. The trainers and coaches rushed to his side, refusing to allow the young player to see his mangled leg. But Lattimore did not need to see it; he already knew. His story was about to change in a severe way. For anyone watching that young man lay on the field, the look on his face set it all: he was heartbroken.

It's hard enough watching someone you don't know experience that kind of pain. It's even more difficult watching someone very close to you go through a sudden and unexpected detour. Almost ten years ago, my brother started losing his vision in both eyes. You could see the demeanor in his face change over time as he was told that his optic nerves were deteriorating, and then having his license suspended, and finally realizing just how much he was going to have to depend on other people for the rest of his life. He was heartbroken.

One of the most iconic lines from any of (the Great) Christopher Nolan's Batman films comes from Batman Begins. After a young Bruce Wayne falls down a well and breaks his arm, his father is carrying him home along with his butler, Alfred. Mr. Wayne looks at his son and says, "Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up." At that moment, every audience member knows that this is going to be a great story.

Over the next few months, Marcus Lattimore is going to have a lot of internal turmoil to deal with. He will have to make some very tough decisions, and he will have to face some very hard facts. These next few months will change him.

My brother was changed, but not for the worse. Yes, losing your vision can be a very crippling thing. As with any heartbreak, no matter how big or small, a choice has to be made. A person can either give up, or they can press forward, stronger than before. My brother bounced back. If you met him today, you might notice that he's blind, but you would not be able to see how it's held him back because it really hasn't. He is now married with two children and one more on the way. He has a great house, and is working towards a career as a marriage and grief counselor, as well as an audio producer.

I truly feel for Marcus Lattimore. An injury like that has to be devastating. I pray that his choices over the next few months show those around him that this setback doesn't define him. He may not return to football, but his life is not over. He faces the choice of how he will impact the lives that he comes into contact with. I look forward to hearing more about his story.

Until then, I will run for you, Mr. Lattimore. I am nowhere close to being a running back on a football team, but I will run for you. And I am praying for you.

Praying for you all.

Keep your head up, and your eyes forward.

Shin Splints

 

I'm in pain. I've got shin splints. Never had those before. 

Anyone that has had shin splints before knows exactly the kind of pain I'm in.  I found out that you're not supposed to run through them. They're caused by an over-exertion of a muscle surrounding your tibia. When the tibia experiences a persistent pressure that it isn't used to or hasn't felt in a while, the muscle expands and the bone forms tiny microscopic cracks. In the beginning, these cracks aren't enough to cause any type of fracture, but they can certainly cause a whole lot of pain. 

You're supposed to immediately stop what you're doing and allow the muscle and bone to rest. After rest, the pain should subside and a person will be able to return to their chosen activity. However, as is the case with exercise after a period of rest, there is still some form of pain associated with conditioning your bones and muscles to become active in that particular way again.

Running is tough. In all honesty, for me, running is one of the most undesirable activities. I always blamed it on the fact that I have breathing problems (which is sometimes true), but that was mainly an excuse. Excuses were the elements that kept me from running and striving for more. I would start running, but my shoes weren't right, so I would quit. I would start running, but my breathing was off, so I would just walk instead. Or I would start running, but I would get lonely, so I would decide to stop until I found someone to run with. And then I would start running with someone, but I would feel too awkward, so I would make up an excuse to not go running with them again (my apologies to any of my former running partners).

For some reason, I have been reminded a lot lately of a story that I heard when I was younger. A long time ago, a man (let's say his name is Michael) decided that he was going to participate in a marathon. Now, this is a very good goal, but the only problem was that Michael was not a runner. The other problem? The marathon was only two weeks away. Michael decided to go through with it any way. He didn't exactly know how to train for the marathon in that short amount of time, so he began with short-distance running, followed by some sprints, hill climbing, and stretching. Michael repeated this day after day until, finally, the day of the marathon arrived. The time came for the race to begin and Michael was psyched. Starting out, Michael was running very well. He felt good. But then after mile two, Michael started feeling it. His legs were feeling sore. He was getting tired. After a while, no one was behind him and everyone was in front of him. His pace became much slower. He began to feel really awkward because all of the spectators' eyes were on him; this lone runner in last place. People could see the expression of pain on his face. The television cameras were trained on him. All of a sudden, people began to see Michael muttering something to himself. Every other step, he would say something. Nobody could make out what he was saying, but they could see that he wasn't giving up. By the time that Michael reached the finish line, all of the runners were waiting for him, along with hundreds of spectators and camera crews. A reporter came out of the crowd to ask him the questions that were on everyone's minds. 

"Why didn't you give up?"

"I couldn't."

"What was it that you were saying to yourself during the race?"

"I was praying. I was telling God, 'You pick them up, Lord, and I'll put them down. You pick them up, Lord, and I'll put them down.'"

I have to be honest, there have been times in life when I have gone through phases of pulling myself out of the race because of a lame excuse. Either I was feeling down, or unmotivated, or I didn't like where I was at. And every time that I have done that, I always catch myself looking back, wondering why I didn't push myself to finish. I have always been taught that when you start something, you're supposed to finish it. And I believe that to be true. When you start a job, you finish that job and see it through no matter what. Even if you experience a setback (like a figurative shin splint), you finish and finish well. That same principal, I believe, applies to every part of life. 

I am going to strive to run the race well.

"⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸ Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

- 2 Timothy 4:7-8 

^"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

- James 1:2-4

Praying for you all.

Keep your head up and your eyes forward.  

Day Two: Confessions of a Former Procrastinator

This is exactly what my planner typically looked like.

Empty.

It was probably one of the main reasons that it took me forever to do something. I never planned it out. I would never set a deadline or a goal. I can't even begin to tell you how many planners I had purchased, only to lose them over and over again. Even when my high school provided each student with a planner so that they could remember assignments and deadlines, I ended up using it as a journal or a place to perfect my shapes (still can't do a perfect star). My phone had a calendar, my computer had a calendar, and all of the e-mail accounts that I used had calendars. But did I ever use them? No. Because I always said I would do it tomorrow. A procrastinator's favorite word. If you're like I was, that word is at the forefront of your vocabulary. I never had a problem saying that I was going to do something because when you're a procrastinator, the when doesn't matter!

So, in order to finally start running, I had to let go of that word. My fiance would always ask if I would go running with her and I would always say, "Yeah, of course I'll go with you! We can do that tomorrow..." And I was serious about when I said it! But when tomorrow actually rolled around, I would find something more pressing that would cause me to again use the word tomorrow. The thing that I have had to realize is that I have no control over tomorrow because life will happen and unexpected things will come up. Today is right here, sitting in front of me, and today is waiting for me to bring my narrative elements into the narrative the is already there.

Today, I have conquered tomorrow. Not literally (God's got that one). Just verbally.

Weight: 160.2 lbs.
Exercise: Running/Walking
Distance: 1.2 miles
Breakfast: Toast and egg
Lunch: Chicken and rice
Dinner: Sloppy joe(s)
Water consumed: 1 gallon

Day One: Find Your Greatness

This is it. I have begun. No turning back.

Those would all be great movies titles.

Seriously though (that would not be a great movie title), it has started. I have graduated from being a walker (no, not like from The Walking Dead) to a runner. And you know what the best part is? I'm not running from anything. I'm running towards something. For the first time, I am choosing to not see the weak legs, the wobbly gut, and the neck that lacks definition, and am instead choosing to see what I can become.

On May 19th, 2013, I will see a drop-dead gorgeous bride named Abigail Rae Dutkiewicz walking down the aisle towards me, and I promise you, I will cry. On that same day, same place, same time, she will see a much more physically fit me waiting for her with an outstretched arm that has bulging biceps. The adjective may be a bit of a stretch, but you get the picture. That arm will be fit, not flabby. And after we've said our vows, exchange rings, and given each other a customary kiss on the cheek, I will finally be able to sweep my bride off her feet. For those of you who know Abigail, it seems like this would be easy. She is not large by any meaning of the word.

So why am I doing this? Well, first, I believe that God has given me this earthly body as a gift, and quite frankly, I have not been doing a very good job at taking care of it. Second, I believe that one of the best ways to get into good physical condition is by running/walking. And third, my fiance loves to run and I would love to be able to participate in the things that make her happy. Also, I will add the running brings physical fitness and physical fitness brings good feelings. If you feel good, you're better equipped to serve others.

So, I can do this. With the strength that only God can provide, I can do this. Everyday, I will be checking in here with observations of my runs/walks and the status of my physical condition. Please feel free to read along as I take this journey. I would love the company.

Weight: 160.2 lbs.
Exercise: Running/Walking
Distance: 1.2 miles
Breakfast: Toast
Lunch: Quesedilla
Dinner: Sloppy joe(s)
Water consumed: 1 gallon